Where do I begin? From the title, you probably already know what kind of day I had. One of those days that I hesitate to write about on the internet, for all to see. But I'll be brave. I just won't share all of the gory details. Oh, and please, when you're finished reading...let me know I'm not alone. Well, at least let me know I didn't scar my children for life.
It started out great-swim lessons. Mikayla loves them. She may not be the best of swimmers but she's trying. I've got to be honest. I started out the day a little bitter. After all, my husband had been gone all week, we had a very busy weekend with friends in town, and then he went right back to work on Monday. Normal, right? Well, for some reason, the thought of starting another week was a little daunting. I wasn't happy about it. I figure, out of town a week, with me the next week. They should write that into the rules of the business world.
On to the afternoon. The kids weren't obeying. I know, right, my children are angels. They obey me all the time. If you believe that, I'll sell you all of our toys (actually, that wouldn't be a bad idea..) Anyway, now that we've established the angelic nature of my children, one wonders why they chose today to disobey. I guess today I didn't wake up on the patient side of the bed. That's why, after, oh, about 10 times of asking them to please sit down while eating their lunch started to get to me. I tried to stuff it in and continued to ask them, with a forced smile, to please listen. Then something happened that pushed me over the edge. While putting away some laundry, I heard the dreaded "gutteral" sound, the sound of something coming back up where it went down. Namely, stomach contents. "Oh no! The Flu!" you say. No, not exactly. It was Tyler's orange juice, revisiting his outfit and the carpet. Mikayla informed me that he was gargling it, something that I have forbidden in our house because of this very reason.
Well, something snapped. With the emotions that have been ever-present in our family, the lack of respect from my children, and other issues, I "let them have it." Now, I usually don't yell. This time, I wouldn't even classify it as yelling. It was "having a breakdown." After admitting this, I will probably want to come back and erase this entry tomorrow but I will resist. Everyone has them, right? Well, as I was "in the moment" the worst possible thing happened. Mikayla laughed...then Tyler laughed. I don't know why they did it, maybe it was a nervous reaction? Now don't get me wrong. My kids are good kids. Their laughter was definitely not intentional, more out of the intensity of the moment. Anyway, my next phone call was to Will, who came home and helped me the rest of the day.
I am so thankful to my husband who understands when I've had enough and does everything in his power to remedy the situation. Just having him home saved me from going the rest of the day in tears.
Well, the rest of the day proved to be just as eventful. We had heard that you could get $4 off of fair tickets from Ralphs so we went to spend our $10 to save $8 and, as soon as we got up to the checkstand, they informed us, "oh, that's just at the Ralphs in orange county." *sigh* I'm usually an optimist. I can laugh at situations. Riva's not laughing today. Will laughed for me. I'm just praying that tomorrow brings a new outlook..and obedient children.
10 comments:
Oh, Riva, I'm sure I would have a breakdown in that situation too. I had a breakdown last week after Mollie decided it was great fun to wake me up from my afternoon nap EVERY SINGLE DAY just at the time I was starting to fall asleep. And I REALLY need that nap right now, in this late stage of pregnancy. It's really interesting to see how the kids respond to it. Yours laughed, all Mollie could say when I yelled, "MOMMY IS REALLY ANGRY RIGHT NOW" was, "Oh." Somehow neither is a very satisfying response...
nope... you are definitely not alone! Except, while your children might laugh, my oldest child reminds me when I need to ask for forgiveness for yelling! Quite humbling, I might add!
Hang in there Riva!
yeah, it seems like my kids go in fazed about every 4-6 months. they are either getting along or fighting and yelling. sometimes I wounder what im doing wrong, but then I realize im raising imperfect creations... my kids dont sit at the table either. *sigh* my frustration solution is setting the timer and having the kids sit on thier beds with books while I take a break. even if its just to sit in quiet for 5 min. ps my kids are allways disobediant and crabby when greg is gone for a week. take heart.
ahahahaha I sooooooooo know what that feels like. I have had "one of those" moments too. but my yell sounds a little demon-like. It even scares me. and there are days I am tempted to post them for sale on Ebay. :P
It was so good to spend time with you all this past weekend- I really wish we lived in the same state.
Riva, you are SO not alone! Jude had a breakdown in the car this morning over something trivial and eventually was crying just to cry, then started screaming, and I lost it and looked over my shoulder and yelled, "STOP IT!" as loud as I could. Never a good thing to say to your child, right? He cried harder, then Micah started crying too, so what did I accomplish by losing my temper? Nothing. And I know it's always like that, but I still lose it occasionally.
Take heart. Their memories aren't super developed at this stage, so they likely won't remember you yelling, and my theory is that by the time they are able to remember consistently they're mostly out of the stage where they irritate us so badly, so it works out. At least until they become teenagers....
I believe parenting at times was God's way of allowing to see myself in the refining fire. There are a couple of times that are still vivid in my memory...(I wond the battle of "you will eat one green bean" only to have my child puke dinner in the plate and clear the table of all 5 kids and husband)...you are not alone. nancy
No, you are not alone. I've yelled so loud that the crystal (what little I have) rang in my house. And after sitting in traffic for 3 hours the other day, you KNOW what my story was (as I cried WITH Ethan because I was so mean). So take heart, because as Kristy said, I think by the time they get old enough to remember, they don't irritate us so badly. You're an awesome mom!
You are SOOO not alone, Riv! You are an amazing mom & I love to hear your stories because then I don't feel so bad either! Ha ha! Love ya!
I'm right there with you dude! There are days when Scott asks me how our day at home went and all I can offer is that his children are still alive. Hang in there!
Yea I know what its like for husbands to be gone lucky for you it was a week mines been over a year with a week hear and there home. But as for the yelling dont get to caught up on it we all do it my mom did Lisa does and so do I. I always yell WHAT when she cries for no reason now Reka will cry, stop, look at me and tell me WHAT, then cry again. Shes crazy but hey shes a part of me what do you expect. Anywho hope all is well love to all your family.
your cuz
laura
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