I can only imagine...

...what it will be like when I walk by your side, Lord, I can only imagine.

My Papa experienced the glorious presence of God on July 5th. His pain is gone and he's in such a better place but I miss him terribly.

My family met in San Jose this weekend to celebrate his incredible life with all of the people his life has touched in one way or another. There were many people there, sharing stories of how Papa was an example of Christ to them, how much he influenced everything we do today (from ATM's to GPS systems to the space shuttle). He was an amazing man, technically skilled as a patternmaker and the backbone of our family.

I headed out with my sister on Saturday to spend a short day and a half in San Jose. Seriously, when we get together we get so giggly and can't stop laughing with each other. She is my best friend, my heart's other half. It was such a welcome beginning to a weekend of loss.

The ceremony was very fitting of Papa, simple yet heartfelt. The flag was prominently displayed in the front of the church from the burial on Wednesday. He was buried in a veteran's cemetary and I heard the rendition of TAPS and the flag folding was quite an emotional time.

Uncle Bill, a treasure of my family. He has lost his wife and his "brother-in-love" within a few short months and is struggling with his own health. I struggle sometimes with the suffering in this lifetime but I know that God has his arms wrapped around us so tightly that when He feels us slipping, He just grabs us tighter. When I start getting overwhelmed with life's struggles, I know He is right beside me. It was a time of rejoicing this weekend, knowing that my Papa gets to feel that hug firsthand.

The cousins, minus Lisa. We had a great time hanging out. L-R: Janelle, Katie, Julie, Cara, Hannah, Caitlyn, Cheryl, and me. My family is full of the most amazing people and I am so thankful that they are such a huge part of my life. I am truly blessed.
Then we had to torture poor William. He is the only boy in the mix so we have to humiliate him, of course.

Julie, Bill and the newest Burke, Ryan. What a miracle he is. Julie, as Cara said, you are an inspiration to me. I've always admired you and loved you like a sister, now you've blown me away with your strength and your selflessness. You're amazing! Just holding Ryan reminds me of God's grace. Through chemotherapy, pregnancy, loss of family members and Ryan's own health problems, this baby is a true miracle. I almost couldn't put him down when I got to hold him.
My Uncle Dannie with Ryan. When you lose someone close to you, it's so healing to hold a newborn, new life.My mom's sister and her brother with my Nana, a pillar of strength for my family.

This weekend, my uncles were cleaning out what remained of my Papa's workshop. You have to understand that every square inch was packed with gadgets, wood chips, tools, and metal doodads so to clean it out was quite a chore. So much history, so many memories. Tool chests with my grandfather's name on them, woodworking tools that were considered antiques and even a tool made by my great grandfather, complete with his initials carved into it. To throw it out seems so wrong but, once family takes some of it, the rest will be distributed or donated. It just hurts my heart to think about it. The end of an era. So I had to take some pictures of how I remember it. I remember Papa walking into his "shop" to grab a tool he needed to fix one of our toys or rig up some Parakeet holder when we brought our birds to their house one summer on vacation. Special memories.

When I got back, I was warmly welcomed by my loving family. I have a renewed love for them, more patience with my kids, treasuring every moment. Yes, that will probably go away in a few days and I'll have to remind myself, again, that life is fleeting but I am reminded every day to enjoy every second and not be so busy that I forget to just be.