What Happens in Vegas...

Little did I know when I decided to make the trek to Las Vegas for 2 1/2 days, I'd have enough insight to put together a little top 10 list of what to do when you take your children somewhere at the ages of 4 and 17 months and without your husband half the day. (Will was at a convention). I guess the part of my brain that needed adventure won over the logical, "you're crazy" side and we packed the fam up for a "fun-filled" few days in sin city.

The first sign of regret came when we arrived in Vegas only to find out that the convention building was a TRAM ride away from the parking lot. Do trams carry strollers? No. Was I crazy to want to drive home at that minute? No, I don't believe so. I proceeded to walk back to the car with a good attitude, folded up the stroller, fought with the luggage of half our earthly belongings to squeeze it in the mouse-sized hole it belonged in and then started to settle into the fact that I would be here for a while. Until... a still, small voice from the interior of my already steaming minivan tweeted, "mommy, I have to go potty." I don't know about you, but those few words strike fear in the heart of any mom who has a potty-trained toddler in the middle of a desert full of "iffy" people and who are a parking lot away from civilization and any sign of a restroom. We know that from the first spoken word to the first tinkle, we have a span of approximately 30 seconds to find a bathroom, cart all belongings there and help the wee one use the potty. So the stroller remained folded in the car and I hefted my 29 pound "baby" for the cross-country walk to the convention center while my daughter walked and chatted beside me. As I made it over potholes, through lines of parking traffic and onto the crosswalk to reach the safety of indoors, I noticed a familiar face STILL standing on the sidewalk, waiting for the tram. My husband. All of you moms can feel me, can't you? Since I had already been through so much in the first 30 minutes since my arrival in Las Vegas, I treated myself to a Starbucks which was overpriced since they knew that all of those Pizza Conventionists needed coffee and needed it NOW. I became one of those suckers... I hoofed it back to the car and there I sat, in a minivan, in the middle of HOT Las Vegas, with my 2 children, for 45 minutes while Will set up the show. I had to call Cara for sanity. So here is my top 10...

10. Be sure to smile and enjoy your children in the beginning of the trip because by the end, you'll need those happy memories to guide your safe return home.

9. If you're by yourself in Vegas with 2 children, you'll be spending a lot of time in the car. Boy, am I glad we got a car with a DVD player in it.

Caffeine, anyone?

8. When your daughter wants to see dolphins at "Sea World" and can't stop talking about it, you'd better shell out the $13 it takes to go to the Mirage and watch the dolphins at play. Yeah, it will take all of your lunch money but who needs to eat when you can use up ONLY 30 minutes of the 8 hours you're alone with them before the kids get bored and want to go eat...with the $13 you now don't have.

7. Make sure you walk to the front of the "Ariel" statue in the middle of the hotel lobby before agreeing to take your daughter's picture in front of it. That way you'll realize that it's naked and say "no" before you make a scene getting your daughter to stand still so her heart isn't broken when the picture comes out blurry. Also, so that the bystanders won't think you're "that" kind of mom whose morals aren't as high as theirs (before they go gamble away their life savings...)

6. Don't have lofty ideas about your children sleeping in a hotel room just because you got a suite and your children are "exhausted." What baby would rather sleep on a piece of foam when they can be rocked by the hour by their worn-out mother. 10:00pm became the new bedtime and we didn't have to worry about Will being late to work. 6:00am remained wake-up time. Also, the only naptime was to and from shopping in the car. Try telling Tyler that he needed to rest a while.
5. Forget about your diet or your gym routine. Desserts like this miniature tiramisu were enough to make me think of getting 2 desserts. GASP! The horror! The Mandalay Bay Buffet and the Rio were our buffets of choice. I think I ate a tankful of snow crabs on my own but also polished off everything else creamy, laden with butter, and dripping in chocolate. Las Vegas is the city of sin and one of them is definitely gluttony. I've got to pray for forgiveness on that one.

4. NEVER drive down Las Vegas Blvd. in the middle of the morning, middle of the afternoon or middle of the evening...that pretty much means at any time. It may be beautiful and full of lights but it will take you an hour to get somewhere that should have taken you 2 minutes. Also, have your DVD player running at all times to avoid the sightings of other various things you don't need your 4-year old viewing.

3. Know the locations of every outlet, strip mall, and shopping center within several miles. When you're by yourself with the kids, any toy anywhere will make the time seem shorter and the fun seem...well, endless?? Fun wouldn't be the word I'd use to describe 3 tired, hungry people in the middle of an outlet mall in Las Vegas but the coin-operated machines scattered throughout at least gave me a break from chasing them.

2. If your children are becoming out-of-control shoppers, they will find endless entertainment in the wilds of nature, throwing rocks. At this point, you won't care what they're doing as long as you can see them and they are enjoying themselves. Sitting on the ground in the middle of the sidewalk while they throw the rocks is not beneath you either...

And the top tip is this:

1. Have money with you at all times. Nothing is as embarassing as running out of cash, wanting to buy your children some "penny candy" at a candy stand and not having the money. It was only $1.95 for a 1/4 pound and yours truly only had 25 cents. The candy lady lookd at me like I had a disease. This was after I scraped together change to buy lunch at Burger King. In Las Vegas, people carry cash...and lots of it. It is in your best interest to conform to the social habits of the society. Be able to afford $1 worth of candy.

Needless to say, the 3 Lees aren't going to be returning to Vegas any time soon...