Renewal

I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks. Coincidentally, it's been 2 weeks since my half marathon. 2 weeks of sore muscles, trips out of town and other various things that have kept me inside and "busy."

Last week, as I talked to my friend, Mina, about her desire for both of us to run a full marathon, I realized that I've fallen into what I'll call a "post-goal slump." I trained for months, ran 15 miles a week since January, and completed my commitment on February 6th. Then it stopped. The running, the training, the desire to get up and push myself. I think that's normal, really, but it stinks. It stinks because I can feel my body transforming back into the way it was, the way I didn't like it.

I'm trying to get the good habits back but find myself sabotaging my efforts. I eat what I shouldn't with the thoughts of, "I'll do better tomorrow." I skip the gym because I just don't know what I'm doing it for. I think, "I want to train for a full marathon," just to get that feeling of pushing to complete a goal and to succeed. Then reality hits and I realize that the training is just too much for this stage of my life. I would have no time for my kids, my husband. So, in my mind, I resign myself to go back to the way things were. And, for some reason, the rest of my responsibilities seem to have lost oomph as well. I find that I can't muster up excitement for the every day goals.

I know it will change eventually. I need a renewal of my spirit, a new goal to aspire to and to work towards.

I know this blog entry isn't my usual "what we did today" review but I've got to get my feelings down in writing. It always helps me sort it all out.

I've resolved at least one goal - to spend more time with God, more time getting to know his desire for my life and for my children's lives. I want my goals to be worthy of my time and I know, in time, I will look back at this slump and say, "Thank you, Lord, for showing me what is important and for renewing me again and again with your love."